Lolita Monologue/

Web folio

Cindy Fields

Major Twentieth Century Writers: Megalomania

We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.

Anais Nin



After a long semester at the Sorbonne, I have decided to end my studies and return home. You see, I had to get away from the gossipy people and start my life over. Before I left, I was married and pregnant. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I miscarried. I had heard so much about the Sorbonne and decided to attend. My grades weren’t that great from Beardsley Prep, but the fine French people accepted me anyway. travel to Europe.

So, you are dying to hear about my liaison with Humbert Humbert? Can you keep a secret? I hate to admit, so please don’t tell any one, but I did the seducing–not Humbert. What? You have trouble believing that? Let me tell you something–never, never underestimate the powers of a nymphet. He was a weak man–I let him think I was innocent and virginal. It was the only way to play my little game. Whenever I wanted something, I put on my little nymphet act and he fell for it every time–sorry excuse for a real man. In town, there was this snooty French woman who would look at me with sympathy. But Humbert, on the other hand, she looked at with hatred. Dear Mon ami, do not lay all of the blame on sweet Humbert. He is a weak man and I took advantage of it. I would do it again with no hestitation, no remorse.

Well, at least I have this old house to myself. Where’s Hummie, you ask? Don’t you read the papers? The Harlows sent me the newspaper clippings. Apparently silly Humbert got some crazy notion in his head to kill Quilty to get even with him for taking me away from him. You see, after our little road trip, I left Humbert for Quilty. Humbert tracks him down and shoots him! What an idiot! He’s serving jail time, but I refuse to see him.

It is awfully quiet in this big house–I should sell it back to the people who bought it after my mother’s death. for), you know, get a little education while I'm still young. I was suspicious--hey, I practically destroyed the man, and now he wants to help me out. I figured, what the hell, a free trip to France would be a nice treat.

All of a sudden, I feeling very tired. I better go upstairs and rest for a while.

Lolita collapses onto her bed in a crumpled heap. She loses consciousness. A few minutes later, she opens her eyes and realizes that she is in back in Paris, but it's not present day–its Paris during the Revolution!


I can't believe it! Could it be true? Wait a minute--something's not right. Dear God! Wherever I am smells horrible. There are so many smells–it is overpowering. Yet, I feel very powerful myself. It is as if I have a great sense of power over everyone.

Lolita runs over to a puddle of dirty, rancid water near an alley and gasps at her reflection.

I'm that horrible man, Grenouille from "Perfume"! What happened to my looks? No one will talk to me--I am far too hideous. I hope this is a dream that I will wake from soon. How did I end up here? I can’t bear the smells–there are too many of them and I feel like I’m suffocating! An uncontrollable rage is building up inside of me that I cannot control. Someone please help me…

Lolita begins to run into the alley to hide her new visage. Suddenly, she stops and sniffs at the air. With nostrils flared, she notices a young, beautiful woman pass the alley. With a tear in her eye, Lolita wishes she were the woman. Her sadness soon turns to rage.

How dare you be prettier than the great Lolita Grenouille! I will teach you a lesson you will never forget. No one, and I mean no one is better than the Great Lolita! You think you are better than me? Just remember, beautiful one, looks can easily fade!

The woman tells her that she is a scent swindler and hands her a piece of paper. Confused, she takes it and opens it with shaking hands. The note reads:

Era ew sa meht ees ew, era yeht sa sgniht ees tnod ew

What kind of gibberish is this? Answer me, woman!

Lolita drops the note and grabs the woman by the throat. With increasing pressure of her fingers around the young, supple neck, Lolita becomes sexually aroused. A powerful orgasm overcomes her and she collapses next to her victim. Lolita wakes up in her bed. She is groggy.

OK, that’s it! No more champagne on airplanes for me. The flight must have really worn me out. I’m still tired. Hopefully, I won’t have another weird dream.

Lolita drifts off to sleep again.

Look at this place. It's disgusting! Do people actually live here at this desolate farm? Wait, I see a woman up ahead. Maybe she can tell me where I am. THE RED FIRE FARM? You mean to tell me that I am in China? Just a minute ago, I was strangling someone in Paris--how is this possible? What is that in your hand? A message for me?

Era ew sa meht ees ew, era yeht sa sgniht ees tnod ew

Again with the gibberish! It doesn't look like any language that I know. Please explain it to me.

The average looking Chinese girl takes Lo by the hand and leads her to the barracks. With suspicion and fear, Lolita reluctantly follows. She is taken into a Spartan room. The first thing that captures her eye is a mirror near the bed that is surrounded by mosquito nets. Suddenly she feels tired. She picks the mirror and drops it after she sees her reflection.

OK. Enough of this bullshit! I have to wake up. One minute I some ugly French man, now I'm some homely looking Chinese girl. I demand to know what’s going on. You is in charge? Well, somebody say something!

Lolita is led to the bed. She is very tired.

Why are you all screaming at me? I have done nothing to the great Mao. People have been telling you lies about me. I am not evil–just misunderstood. Please believe me. I would never intentionally harm you. I am not a reactionary! Madame Mao is my hero–I would never do anything against the Party!

Yan and Anchee start chanting…

Era ew sa meht ees ew, era yeht sa sgniht ees tnod ew

Please tell me what that means…

Lolita wakes up in her bed again.

If there is a God, am I being punished for something I have done? Why am I being tormented by so many odd dreams? OK, Lo, just get a grip on yourself. You don’t have a conscience, remember? Just relax and try to sleep.

She blacks out again. Lo wakes up in a courtroom. The air is stifling and stale. She is seated at a table with her lawyers, Nabokov and Shattuck–neither wants to be in this room with Lolita. Judges John and Patricia Ramsey ask her to rise and give a statement. She is accused of being a nympet and manipulator.

You want me to give a statement? I will give it my best shot, but don’t be surprised by what I have to say. For the past few minutes, hours or days (I am so confused that I could not tell you which one), I have been in Hell. Every place I have been to, I have been ridiculed and accused of heinous acts. Why am I made to suffer? Have I really been such a bad person? All I did was manipulate people–no real harm was done right? I am just a child who may have made some mistakes in life. I know I ruined a man’s life, but you must understand he was already going down that road–I only gave him the push he needed. In regards to my mother, how did you expect me to act? The old, fat woman threw herself at a man who did not want her. Humbert Humbert and Charlotte Haze should be on trial, not Dolores Haze! I think I’m having some terrible dream that I cannot wake up from. You have got to get me out of this mess. My great friend and mentor, Anais Nin will vouch for my character. Please, Anais. I adore you and I know that I can count on you to protect me. I beg of you, tell these people to release me from Hell.

The Judges look at each other with blank faces. With the slam of their gavels, Lolita is suddenly inside a Toyota in New England.

I don’t believe this! Is this my punishment–to be stuck in this poor excuse for a car with this poor excuse for a man?

The car picks up speed. The Senator hands her a slip of paper and tells her to hold it up to the rearview mirror.

Again with this gibberish? Fine, I’ll play your little game.

Lolita places the piece of paper with the words up to the rearview mirror.

Era ew sa meht ees ew, era yeht sa sgniht ees tnod ew

We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are. Oh my God! Is that what everyone was trying to tell me? OK, I understand now. I will mend my ways. I will never corrupt another person. Just tell me how to get out of this mess. What are you doing? You are heading for the lake. SLOW DOWN! YOU’RE GOING TO GET US KILLED!

Lolita’s life is flashing before her eyes. All the bad things she did to Humbert and her mother come flooding back as the black water rushes over the car. Lolita finally realizes that there is no turning back for her–she must pay for her crimes. She doesn’t fight the water because she knows she is going to die, that she must die…