THE DIARY OF CLEO THE DREAMER

By

S. Needham

Dear Diary,

Since this is my first entry, I thought it would be best to introduce myself. Hi! My name is Cleo. I am at a very hard time in my life because I am going through many changes- both mentally and physically. However, what is perplexing me the most right now is these dreams that I keep having, but I will talk about that in a little.

It's almost as if I am going through a mid-life crisis- don't know whether I am coming or going, if I'm growing older, or feeling younger. Anyhow, I cannot truly be going through one because I am still way too young. But my point is that I am just confused.

My life outside my dreams is quite complex, but I think that when it's said that dreams _____ your real life, that it's quite true. I guess as I mention some of my dreams it will become clearer. I guess the best thing to do now is to talk a little about these dreams that I am having. The one's I remember thus far have some commonalties. For one, they all take place in different places. I know this sounds normal, but maybe I should be more specific- they take place in different, foreign, unheard of lands. Secondly, they either take place in other times, meaning hundreds of years ago, or, I can't even tell what time period it is.

When it comes to me in these dreams it gets even more strange. I don't look like I do in real life. Well, I mean, it looks like me in terms of the dark hair, facial features, etc., but I would never dress like that. The skimpy clothing and this funky headgear are such a fashion faux pas! The headgear, it took me many of dreams to figure out its use, is actually pretty cool. In my dreams I am able to just be a spectator, or if I pull the funny apparatus over my eyes, I can participate. This way I can be either visible or invisible to the characters in my dreams.

I have to go, but I will write again soon.

-Cleo

Dear Diary,

As you know from my past couple of entries, I have been struggling to understand a few things about myself. Most importantly I am at a loss for who I really am and where I am heading in life. By this I mean that basically I don't understand how I came to be where I am and how I know the things I think that I do. It's like I just woke up with this crazy life, memories, and mind. However, I had this bizarre dream last night that's in some retrospect’s clarified parts of my questions, but has left me with new ones and wondering how things fit together.

The last thing that I remember is knowing that I was about to fall asleep and then waking up, so I thought, in this strange place. (Like that's any different from any of my other dreams!) It looked like it was straight out of a cartoon. Everything was exaggerated- colors, spatial depths and objects sizes. Anyhow, the point being is that both humans and animals surrounded me, but it was quite different from anything I have experienced before. Firstly, the way in which the people were communicating with one another, being that they were quite strange and rude, made me realize that people and things Aaron’t as they always appear. For my past couple of experiences have also exemplified this, but the fact that I had the ability to converse with beings other than humans proved it. This first part of my dream put me in circumstances in which I began to see how my own judgment fits into my life. For example, I ended up at a cocktail party in which I was offered what looked like a piece of cake, but soon realized that it was not simply that. But this piece of cake changed me in a way that made me see many different sides of the situation I was in before returning me back to normal. It's strange how when you're put in a position other than your own, how different it is and how much you can understand about their perspectives.

The second aspect of my dream was that the people, or things, that I encountered seemed rather familiar. Not necessarily in shape and form, but in manner. For example, there was this girl Alice who was on an adventure of her own and in rather the same position as me because everything she was experiencing was foreign to her as well. She explained to me that her journey was practically over, but that the experiences that she had, had given her insight to becoming an adult. So in actuality, her adventure had been more of a coming of age one. Where in my case I feel I am lacking so much, that many things don’t make sense, like having this dream. Although I can handle such experiences, I cannot simplify them to mean one thing at this point.

I also had an experience with the ruler of my dreamland and I think that she must have reminded me of a sort of adult figure in my life. For although she was the ruler, she did not exactly act as such. In fact, it was quite opposite. It was like she was a child trapped in an adult body and position, and unable to handle it. As I grew, so I think throughout my dream, it was as if she was doing the opposite. I guess that the older and wiser one gets, the more they see those around them as not knowing as much as they think and in fact not really a figure at all.

It is funny how these dreams of mine somehow relate to my life, whether directly or indirectly. I mean, I dream that I am part of a cartoon and have the ability to take part in it by flipping down my headgear. It could be worse.

- Cleo

Dear Diary,

I had another dream last night in which I was being told a story about this man who had claimed that he had gone on all these strange adventures, but they were simply unbelievable. So when I fell asleep, in my dream, I was somehow transported to these different lands in which I met various types of people and things that the man had described. Everything was based upon the stories of the strange man. What I can remember went like this:

I woke up and found myself surrounded by people who cold’t have been more than a few inches tall. I think that they were just as surprised to see me as I was they. Although they were so small, I found myself unable to move. It appeared they had tied me down with dental floss. This seems rather strange, but it was true. Anyhow, upon interacting with these little creatures they decided that I was a threat to them and the best thing to do would be to kill me. But how could they think that they could possibly do this? For I could just squash them with my foot if I were to have the chance. I tried making myself invisible, but because I was tied up I was unable to.

I can't remember what happened next, but before I exited this ‘metropolis,’ as they called it, I was posed with a question that would seem rather odd to us, but in the case of the Lilliputians, seemed to be the basis of their politics. The question was "at which end should the faithful break their eggs?" What was so ironic about this question was that it seemed as if the question, if taken to another level, could be applied to any society. Even the man, who told these strange stories, from 15th century England, could understand.

I don’t remember much more of this bizarre place, but the next thing that I vividly remember was being in the opposite situation. I was faced with people a hundred times my size. I don’t feel like getting into the details about this saga, but what interested me, or scared me the most was imagining if this were to be real. What a difference this would make in life. What if people of such drastic different sizes had to live their life together? What would the world be like? Would the larger people be in charge? What would happen? In this particular saga I was able to become invisible by flipping up my headgear. This allowed me to reflect on the situation at hand. What a scary situation this was because it in fact woke me up.

When I finally fell back to sleep I must have been thinking about what it would be like to be so different. For in my next adventure I met a bunch of people who seemed to be physically deformed, but were otherwise pretty much the same in appearance. This began my thinking of what it would have been like for me to have been born with something that made me look and live differently. For I find myself to be very lucky to be who I am, besides the fact that I have these crazy dreams!

I mean, what would it be like to be an outsider, different? Or more specifically, what would it be like to live a life in which you were physically so different? Would you accept it? Would it be completely normal to you? Who knows.

I must go right now, but I will most certainly write with my next adventure! I must tell some people about these dreams because they must mean something to my immediate life. Maybe they are trying to tell me something. For who dreams about such people and places and times.

-Cleo

Dear Diary,

I had a sort of nightmare last night in which I was held hostage by a lady I know very well- my next door neighbor Alex. This lady in real life is very active in society. She's on the board of many organizations, attends all the local town meetings (which she helps run), and is always a very nice person.

However, there is one strange thing about Alex, and that is that nobody has ever been in her house. From the outside it looks lovely. Freshly painted, white Victorian manor with lots of colorful flowers all around. You can't clearly see through the windows because she has these sheer curtains that distort the contents inside. It's almost as if you can see the outlines of figures, but you can't really figure out what they are.

Anyhow, my dream started with me sneaking around the outside of the house. For some reason, I was not wearing my headgear, which would have been the obvious thing to have when trying not to be seen. So, of course, I got caught. Alex pulled me in through her back door and immediately locked it behind me. Upon looking around, I soon realized that Alex was not the lady she appeared. Her house was spooky- I'll leave it at that. She sat me down at her kitchen table when she offered me something to drink. I politely said that I had to leave, but she pulled out a knife and told me to sit down. So I did.

She began mumbling to me about how she had to put on an act to the rest of the world because of their injustice to outsiders. When I asked why she would be considered an outsider, she said that it was because of her religious beliefs. I tried to relate to her on some level by telling her the story of my family, how they were persecuted for being Jewish, by talking about the Holocaust and other historical events. I think I must have gotten through to her on some level, but not completely. After talking for hours she eventually let me go. In my dream I never told anyone about what had happened. In a way, I guess, I felt sorry for her. It became our secret.

However, I did try to talk to my mom about it in real life without telling her about the dream. She explained to me a couple of things: in life people are not always as they seem, to always be weary of others, to accept people for their differences, and most importantly never deny to yourself who you really are and what you believe.

-Cleo

Dear Diary,

Yes, it's another dream story, but instead of going through the story I want to talk about an idea that I have from it. Basically, I wondered what it would be like to grow-up when there was a clash between science and society. I know that this still exists today, but what about when scientific ideas were much more primitive than they are today. You see, in my dream there was another person who had the ability to make himself invisible. The only difference was that once he did so, it was permanent. Whereas with me, I can alternate.

Anyhow, the period when this dream took place was hundreds of years ago. Therefore, society was very cautious of certain sciences and they had a lot less knowledge about what was true, not true, possible, and not possible. For instance, we know that today for sure to become invisible is impossible. If it were to happen today, would it be more accepted? I tend to think so since what we have seen today in terms of science's capabilities would most likely amaze people from that time.

However, I also think that it might not be accepted. Firstly, who would benefit from such a thing? Would it be comparable to medications that are only available to the rich because they can afford it? Secondly, how would it change societies everyday life? I think that there would be utter chaos. People could see and here things that they aren't supposed to, get away with things they shouldn't, or much worse. In my dream the man eventually went crazy. Could that be a possibility?

In any case, it is an interesting thought. I kind of like the idea because I have somewhat been able to experience it through my dreams. Just like this one where I followed this invisible man and he had no idea. But would it be practical, or even legal if possible?

-Cleo

Dear Diary,

The last dream I had was quite bizarre. It was about a man who basically had alternate personalities purposely induced by him. It actually got rather scary in the end because he eventually committed suicide. However, what really intrigued me was the idea of living two different lives, so to say, via two alternate personalities.

It sort of reminded me of myself because I feel that I have my real life and then my dream life, which seems just as real. I know it's not quite the same, but I wonder what it would be like to sort of live two lives. If I could choose my second life, what would it be? Well here is what I've thought of so far:

It would have to be like my present life accept I would make changes. Since I would be living these lives simultaneously I cannot really change the place, time, or who I am. This just wouldn't make sense otherwise. Therefore, the changes that I would make would have to me in terms of my mind, thus maybe influencing my behavior, personality, appearance, etc. These are the changes that would differ from my possible alternate life/personality:

1. I would know everything. Since I am still quite young, I know that I am learning everyday. I wish I could live my whole life with all this knowledge instead of ending my life just having achieved it all.

2. I would like to be more creative (hint, hint!)

3. I would not smoke cigarettes.

4. I wouldn't be as self-conscious.

5. I would be nicer to my mother.

6. I wouldn't be such a procrastinator or lazy.

7. I would socialize outside my social circle.

These are just some to name a few, but I am sure that if I had the chance I could think of
more.

-Cleo

Dear Diary,

I have not had any memorable dreams now for over a month. I'm going to assume that they have ended and that I can close this section of my life, and diary, and move on. I am going to assume that all these dreams somehow convey a message to me about my life and life in general. I feel as though by looking back at them I can give myself a tarot card reading. It is actually kind of cool. From now on I'm going to reserve you, this diary, for recording my dreams and designate another for everything else.

So until next time (dream),

-Cleo