240	Assessment Initial Draft	Final Draft comments
Abstract	The abstract is okay, although it will benefit from editing to improve the writing and focus.  Two points to consider: Generally, we avoid declaring our research will aim to find results of a specific type; instead, we aim to resolve questions with the understanding that we cannot know the results of the research until we have them.  Also, note that some married women have husbands who supply no income and some single women have sources of income other than their earnings - avoid making absolute statements or comparisons that violate the facts.	Substantively sound, if including some minor confusion at points.
Research Question	The general research agenda is clear but the specifics are not.  The draft proposal suggests the research will concern differences in the economic circumstances of single mothers and married mothers in Taiwan, with a focus on earnings or income.  The proposal does not say much about how it will cope with women who stop holding jobs after having children, or the difference between those paid an hourly wage and those paid a weekly or monthly salary, or other relevant distinctions.	The research question is clear and well defined.
Literature Review	The literature review shows a good effort to examine the relevant materials.  It is now spread between the "Introduction" and the "Literature Review" and it is a bit disorganized.  Try to put all the material that reviews the literature together, develop perhaps a more explicit and effective organization, and edit it all for clarity and focus.  Writing more about some works is not always as good as writing less that is well focused.  Seek to organize around different explanatory arguments, different questions, or different problems in the research.	Well done.  Significantly improved in terms of organization, clarity, and breadth.
Data & Analysis	The panel data set sounds plausible for the project.  Rather than listing the variables expected to have a role in the research, it may work better to list the kinds of information available that fit the project, and the kinds of information that would be desirable but are absent.  A quick look at the survey material online suggests that the subsamples that fit the research design do not include original ones as the proposal seems to suggest, as those cohorts are too old.  Rather, the cohorts that will work are those added in following years and the addition of the children of the early cohorts into the main sample.  This follows if the research aims to use fixed effects to compare before and after having a child, as the proposal implies, because this implies having subjects with data for the years before they have a child.  All of this should be made clear in the proposal.	The PSFD data are appropriate and the discussion of the data analysis is clear and effective.  The data may not provide as much detail about mechanisms of single motherhood penalty as desirable, but they are a good starting point for this research agenda.
Causal Interpretations	The research design does not seem to consider issues of self selection.  Generally, pregnancies result because women decide to have children or to put themselves at risk of getting pregnant.  If women who are unmarried or who are in unstable marriages make these choices differently from women who are married, then the circumstances that cause the different choice patterns are potentially implicated as contributing causes to the differences in employment patterns and income.	The basic causal presentation is good, overall, with causal interpretations that are clear and nuanced.  However, it still ignores the selection issue, particularly as it applies to women who were never married or became divorced.
Research Contribution	If carried out successfully, the research would undoubtedly contribute to the existing literature, but this is not made clear in the current section on "Anticipated Value."  The proposal should state how the research will add to what is known (e.g. because nothing is known about these processes in Taiwan, and because the cultural differences will allow the findings to broaden understandings beyond the research on western societies).	Now does a better job with respect to the focus on single mothers and Taiwan, although it could still be more explicit about how this research will add knowledge.
Citations & Bibliography	The citations and bibliography seem fine.	Fine.
Quality of Writing & Organization	The writing is okay but will benefit considerably from editing.  The text suffers from quite a few grammatical and syntax errors, sometimes to the point that it is hard to be sure what is intended.	The writing still has some syntax issues, but shows a good effort to improve.
Priorities for Revising / Responsiveness to Feedback	This draft has moved the project design along, but still needs a fair amount of work.  The data and its use should be made clearer, the causal alternatives presented more sharply, and the literature review revised in structure.  The writing can be improved throughout.	Proposal has been fully revised.
Miscellaneous Notes
Proposal		This is a sound proposal that has a high likelihood for producing worthwhile results.
Class Overall		Good effort and development throughout the class.